Unfazed 30 day series: Day 10 “Peaceful Boundaries”

Peaceful Boundaries sounds so oxymoron if that is the right term to use. How can we have peaceful boundaries, where both parties understand one another?

We all have moments where we say, I have had enough I can’t do this anymore, and rather than facing it head on we just do the “easy” thing and runaway. But like my husband always says, there is nothing peaceful about that. let’s read Matthew 5:9 together, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

So what is a peacemaker? Someone who goes face to face with the issue, and talks about it. If it is with someone that we struggle with we meet up with them and share what our struggle with them is. The prayer is that they listen and understand, and maybe them even say whatever is on their heart and boom now we are not sitting in awkward tension, what is so peaceful about that? But what if they don’t listen and understand and you both don’t walk in peace with one another after? Then there may end to be another person that comes in and mediates a conversation.

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” Matthew 18:15-17

Let’s talk honestly. I hate with a PASSION confrontation, boundaries, all of it. I want everyone to like me, want to be around me, and never have an issue with me because then we can just be happy all the time. But obviously that is unrealistic because we live in a fallen world where sin is still here.

For there to be peace we must confront the issues, the disagreements, the burnout, the lack of oneness, all the things so that we can get to the root of the issue and uproot it.

Can you imagine what would happen if we all sat down with one another to talk about everything, and hold nothing back, obviously beforehand there would have to be much prayer that goes into it beforehand, but if it happened, we still wouldn’t know how it would turn it out. But I truly believe when we choose to desire to walk in unity as brothers and sisters in Christ we will see the Lord do great and mighty things, sometimes in ways that are wow, and sometimes in ways that it is sad or some boundaries have to be put up or ways have to be parted.

To end I want to share just a little bit of where I am at.

I have an awkward relationship with a family member that the Lord, my husband and two other people have been walking with me. And no matter what I have said or done there is just no change done. Y’all with all my heart I love this person, will do anything for them, and go out of my way to make sure they are good. But there is only such much we can do and for so long without continuing to get hurt, misunderstood, and simply not heard or respected, and the attitude of it’s my way or the highway. How long do you endure it? How long do you allow that attitude and emotions come into your home and affect your family and those that may not be blood but are seen as family to even your own kids. There has to be a peaceful boundary that must be placed.

Let’s read these together. Grab a journal and a pen, maybe a highlighter and see how the Lord will encourage you with these.

“And now I make one more appeal, my dear brothers and sisters. Watch out for people who cause divisions and upset people’s faith by teaching things contrary to what you have been taught. Stay away from them.” Romans 16:17

‘Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23

“Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are.” Proverbs 26:4

“Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18

THE BIBLE IS INDEED INTENSE IS IT NOT. IT IS BLACK AND WHITE, AND SOMETIMES GREY, like the lukewarm verse we all know, BUT GOD LEFT US HIS WORD TO WALK IN IT AND OBEY IT AND FIND LIFE IN HIM.

When I read those verses I truly get sad yet encouraged because It sometimes sucks to have to not ignore but ignore certain people that try and get in the way of us trusting and gazing on Christ. When we truly walk in Christ, he gives us the eyes to see people and to know how to maneuver. We truly need to pray for discernment. I have started to pray for that recently, the Lord really convicted me about it, to not depend on someone else’s discernment, and more specifically I should not be dependent on the keen discernment of my husband, he truly is keen, but I truly need to pray for it for myself so when my husband is not around I know what to do and say to remain at peace.

A FLATTERER

“For there is no truth in their mouth; their inmost self is destruction; their throat is an open grave; they flatter with their tongue.” (Psalm 5:9)

This toxic trait often goes along with many of the previous traits. A flatterer is “a person who lavishes praise, often insincerely.” Have you ever been around a person who is oddly complementary to the point of excess? Toxic flatterers start off with smooth, feel-good words that end up drawing people into deceit. 

Y’all seek God above all else to know how to see and hear in such a way to remain at peace with people even if it means boundaries need to be put up. Boundaries are not evil they help create healthy relationships.

AGAIN WE NEED DISCERNMENT.

“Let those who are wise understand these things. Let those with discernment listen carefully. The paths of the Lord are true and right, and righteous people live by walking in them. But in those paths sinners stumble and fall.” Hosea 14:9

This one was hard to write y’all, I hope you are encouraged and know that the Lord truly does care for our emotions, our relationships.

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“Give your burdens to the Lord , and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” Psalms 55:22

Remember, God was the creator of boundaries so wherever you believe Peaceful Boundaries need to be made trust the Lord that He will give you the courage and peace to move forward with it and know that he will be with you in the process as you not let go of the person, place, church, friends, family, but just create some space for healing to be able to receive from the Lord his perfect peace so that we can walk into new things ready, whole, and healed to be able to pour in to others in a way that you may not have been able to do.

blessings friends!

go be a spark of influence, and together may we see the Lord’s love in us ignite the world.